原来，很多圣诞歌曲都是有科学填词版的（可见科研狗有多闲）。而在这其中，用铃儿响叮当填的这首《单细胞》（Single Cell）感觉尤其走心，非常洗脑。正值平安夜，我决定拿来和大家共赏一下。这里是原歌曲视频：友情提示：现在关闭页面还来得及！下面附上英文歌词和我的魔性中文填词_(:з」∠)_预备——唱！
Single Cells Early heterotrophs 早期异养菌 Fed on nucleotides 吃着核苷酸 As their rapid growth 它们长得快 Released carbon dioxide 把二氧化碳抛 But autotrophs would rule 食物渐渐少 As food grew less and less 自养菌来了 Generating their own fuel 它们会用光合作用，自己产燃料！
Oh, Single cells, single cells 哦~单细胞，单细胞 Bacteria and algae 细菌和小藻 Making up about a third 生物量里三分之一都是它们造~ Hey Single cells, single cells 嘿，单细胞，单细胞 Thrive in every place 在哪儿都能长 Extremes of heat and pressure, 高温高压招呼上 They can live in outer space. 太空也走一场The eukaryotic cells 真核细胞里 Are more complex inside 零件更是多 They have more organelles 它有好多细胞器，还有细胞核 These organelles evolved 细胞器还有，细菌变来的 Were gobbled up by ancient cells, 远古细胞吞了它，一起来生活~ Oh, Single cells, single cells 哦，单细胞，单细胞 Have lipid membranes 磷脂铺成膜 Eukaryotes have nuclei 真核生物DNA，核里做个窝 Hey Single cells, single cells 嘿，单细胞，单细胞 Some can flagellate 细菌有鞭毛 Amoebas walk with Pseudopods 阿米巴虫长伪足 And move by changing shape. 变形出个脚 Most species of yeast 多数酵母菌，是单细胞真菌 On carbs and grain they feast 谷物交给它发酵 Making bread and wine 酿酒烤面包 In smaller buds they split 它们会出芽 Without a need to mate 不用成个家 But when food sources become scarce 不过食物缺少时，也能啪啪啪~ Oh, Single cells, single cells 哦，单细胞，单细胞 Can cooperate 它们会合作 Bacteria form biofilms 细菌长成生物膜 Slime molds assimilate 黏菌聚成坨 Hey Single cells, single cells 单细胞，单细胞 Most self-replicate 自己来繁殖 But they have many other ways 要想交换DNA，办法还多得是！
这首歌已经将果壳若干同事成功洗脑……你被单细胞了吗？一个AI如果这首还没折磨够你，还有一首《胆固醇生化合成之歌》在“阅读原文”里面。听得我整个AI都不好了，想把自己的生化模块卸载掉……